第五章

    “你就是因为一顿饭，喜欢上人了？”文雅趴在床上，瞅着我，眼神之中满是诧异，“我记得你那一次回来吐了吧！”                                                                                                             我看了一眼文雅，沉默地点了点头。                                                                                                             “你居然还记得！”                                                                                                             有时候不得不称赞文雅的记忆力，两个星期前的事情她居然还记得那么清楚，果然以后吵架不能找文雅，光是扒旧就足够头大了。                                                                                                             “那是因为你哪天吐完之后拿了她的一包泡面吃。”依依在旁边提醒了一句。                                                                                                             _|||                                                                                                             好吧，我也记得了。                                                                                                             “阿墨，我还真没发现，你居然这么的m！”                                                                                                             文雅摆摆手，表示泡面问题稍后再议，摆在眼前的最大问题是关于我的问题。                                                                                                             我白了文雅一眼，什么嘛，我哪里看上去m了，不管从哪一个角度上来看，我都是s型的。                                                                                                             “阿墨，那男生长的很好看？”文雅突然像是想到了什么一样，很兴奋地问着。                                                                                                             我狂点头，那小子虽然个x真的是很差劲，又骗人，但是那张脸真的挺好看的，要不然，不会在第一次见面的时候，我就因为美se而春心萌动啊！                                                                                                             “阿墨，”文雅沉默了一下之后，用力地拍着自己的床，“你还等什么，上了他！”                                                                                                             “……”一个b一个说话还不客气，我幽幽地叹了口气，“他b我小。”                                                                                                             “老牛吃neng草什么的最萌了，上了他，采yan补y吧！”                                                                                                             文雅大声道，要不是寝室门现在关着，我怀疑我们这层楼都可以听见文雅姐刚刚y而荡的呼喊声。                                                                                                             虽然我的确很肤浅，但是从本质上，我并不算是一个坏孩子，所以我一个大三的老油条去啃一g小neng草，我觉得有点不大符合我的一贯行事作风，而且，难度系数似乎还高了一点。                                                                                                             我认认真真地想了想，其实这种事情问nvx不大靠谱，谁都知道nvx大多走的是感x路线，动不动就会为一点**毛蒜皮小事而落泪，这一点从我萝莉时期疯狂迷恋琼瑶剧，动不动就摆出琼瑶nv主的姿态，以三秒内落泪秒杀我爸逃避我妈责罚这种演技派生涯就可以略窥得一二。                                                                                                             所以，我觉得还是找个男人来参详参详还是b较靠谱一点的，而且还要找一个略有点姿se的男人来，站在差不多一点的高度上，还是b较能揣摩出小白脸君的心态不是？                                                                                                             可是，我认识的b较有姿se的男人，从小到大，没几个人啊。                                                                                                             果然，人要用时方恨少。                                                                                                             中午的广播社人不是很多，因为社团成员都是学生，课时安排都是不一样的，运气好一点的，上午两三节课或者是没有课，运气差一点的，上午排满五节课食堂也像是被蝗虫过境一样，渣都没有剩下一点。                                                                                                             今天我运气不错，早上两节课，九点开始，上完之后还能m去食堂的吃最新鲜的饭菜，然后在出现在广播社当我的nv主播。                                                                                                             一点从播音间出来的时候，广播社空落落的，原本这个社团成员就不是很多，每年都是应聘的人很多，录取率都赶上和公务员考试一样的概念了。                                                                                                             社团不能玩很久，我想到下学期的时候，我也会像是前辈一样退下来，然后忙学业，忙实习，到最后走出校园的象牙塔，一如前人。                                                                                                             有时候想想，还真挺舍不得。                                                                                                             我m着社团里面的办公桌，突然自己很有文艺装b的范儿。                                                                                                             社团的门一下子被人打开了。                                                                                                             “嘿，没关门么？”                                                                                                             穿着短k背心踩着拖鞋的杨逸窜进了门来，见到我的时候，微微楞了愣。                                                                                                             “阿墨你在啊，要一起去吃饭么？”                                                                                                             杨逸挥着手对我打招呼，模样要多惬意有多惬意。虽然他在当社长的时候建树不多，可社团气氛却是最融洽的。                                                                                                             “要一起去吃饭么”这句话是他的口头禅，社团学校有拨款，但是大部分的拨款基本上都落进了我们每一个人的肚子里面，偶尔还会带着我们去分校蹭其他社团的，不得不说，杨逸的人脉实在是够强大。                                                                                                             我看着杨逸，眼睛直发亮，得来全不费工夫啊！                                                                                                             我像哥们一样搭上他的肩膀。                                                                                                             “学长，我要你！”                                                                                                             杨逸的脸瞬间黑了，他挣扎的像是一个即将要被渣男调戏的姑娘一样。                                                                                                             “阿墨，别这样，哥可是有对象的，虽然这个社会很乱，咱的关系不能乱！”                                                                                                             = =                                                                                                              “学长，你想哪里去了？”我拍了拍杨逸的肩膀，“我很有原则，我不当三。”                                                                                                             防火防盗防小三，我又何必去当那人人喊打的过街老鼠，太不合算了，就算之前对杨逸春心萌动过，也已经是三年前的事情了，姐喜新厌旧了。                                                                                                             “那就好，那就好。”                                                                                                             杨逸拍了拍x脯，终于放下了心来，扯开了一张椅子坐了下来。                                                                                                             “来，阿墨，我一定知无不言言无不尽，你尽管问。”                                                                                                             我想了想，看着坐在自己对面的杨逸。                                                                                                             “学长，问你啊，要是像你一样帅的人，有姑娘向你告白啊，你会怎么样啊？”                                                                                                             杨逸又沉默了一会，看了我许久。                                                                                                             “其实我真的不帅！”杨逸申明着。                                                                                                             我看着杨逸，这家伙不会是真的以为我话里有话，想要跟他告白吧？tat，我真没想这个。                                                                                                             “学长……”我压低了声音，眯着眼睛瞅着杨逸，“我对你没其他想法！”                                                                                                             或许以前有过，但是现在真的没有，我发誓！                                                                                                             “哦，哦，”杨逸应了两声，单手托着腮，看着我，“一般地说，要是有旁人的话，我想，多少还是会给点面子的吧，至少不会当面给难堪的。”                                                                                                             还有旁人？                                                                                                             我想了想那画面，要是有旁人的话，要是那小白脸用很拽很拽的声音对我说“对不起，我对一个老牛实在没啥兴趣”这种话，那得多掉脸啊，不g，坚决不g！                                                                                                             “不过要是没有别人的话么，”杨逸支吾了一下，“这个么，就看那人的x格了，换成我么，应该会多少给nv孩子留点面子吧。”                                                                                                             我哀叹一声，那人x格这么恶劣，基本上我是没戏了吧，不管有人没人，估计都是game over的料了。                                                                                                             悲剧啊！                                                                                                             “阿墨，那男人对你有没有意思？”                                                                                                             杨逸瞅着我，分外好奇地问着。                                                                                                             “唔，应该有吧！”                                                                                                             我想了想之后回答，那人个x有点捉m不定，实在不好说什么。                                                                                                             不过，在那一次有点脑残有点二的拼饭之后，我还是有遇上过小白脸君三回的。                                                                                                             这个概率虽然不是高的可怕，但是在两个人不同系，不同年级的情况又没有说定的情况下，的确算是苗头的，可是，绝对没有像是三笑点秋香一样，来个定盟约的三个微笑。                                                                                                             在拼饭之后第一次遇见小白脸君李澈……不，靳骐的时候，那是在三天之后。                                                                                                             那一天的拼饭实在是有点可怕，直接导致我回寝室就直接吐了，吐完之后，整个胃又空荡荡的，于是又从文雅的ch0u屉里面扒拉了一袋泡面给吞了。                                                                                                             在后来那几天在食堂里面看到打饭师傅那高高扬起的舀了满满一勺饭的饭勺，我的胃就开始直ch0u搐，后遗症就是生生让我喝了三天的粥。                                                                                                             那一天，天气不错，温度b平常的时候下降了两度，还有三到四级的风。                                                                                                             我下了课，在踹掉了想搭便车的沈依依和文雅之后，哈皮地往着宿舍方向骑。                                                                                                             经过学校网球场的时候，遇上了那穿着一身白se短袖运动衣运动k的小白脸君，胳膊底下还夹了一只球拍，目标很显然去网球场。                                                                                                             小白脸君果然就是小白脸君，对于颜控的人来说，有着一种很大的冲击。                                                                                                             我突然觉得撑的慌……                                                                                                             靳骐也看到了我，他的表情有一瞬间的古怪，我表示可以理解，估计他也是一样的，有一种撑的慌的感觉吧。                                                                                                             “学姐！”靳骐喊了一声。                                                                                                             我刹住了车子，然后回头看着他，用眼神示意他有话快说，有p快放。虽然天气凉了一点，但是在太yan底下也是热的慌。                                                                                                             靳骐慢慢吞吞地走了过来，绕着我和车子走了一圈。                                                                                                             “学姐，你这车很帅气啊！”靳骐说着，然后伸手拍了拍我的车龙头。                                                                                                             我当然能听得出来他不是真的赞美我的车。在第一辆b较新的二手自行车被偷掉之后，我决定听取前人的意见，买一辆看上去有多破烂就有多破烂的二手车来防止被偷，所以我这辆车除了车铃不响，其他都会响。                                                                                                             虽然y件如此犀利，但是在应用程序上还算是过的去，至少这辆车搁在哪里，绝对不会有人会有兴趣。                                                                                                             “没见过犀利车啊！”                                                                                                             我白了他一眼，我的车就是这么的牛叉，不行咩。                                                                                                             靳骐点了点头，表示肯定我的车的确很犀利。                                                                                                             “怎么，转行当网球王子？”                                                                                                             玩儿运动的，可都是有点资本的，至少一般人还玩不起这高消费的运动。所以一般人还是从事篮球足球b较多一点。                                                                                                             “恩，撑的慌，所以想要运动一下，”靳骐回答，“学姐你要不要也运动一下，你的饭量还是很生猛的。”                                                                                                             _#                                                                                                             这个家伙，又往我伤疤上戳了一下，变相地提醒我哪天赢了他的事情，你说这一个男人怎么能这么小气呢这么小气呢。                                                                                                             “你想g啥！”我龇牙。                                                                                                             “你看，都囤积在上半身了。”靳骐的视线往着我的身上转了转，然后落在了某处，脸上笑意浓厚了起来。                                                                                                             太流氓了！